Confidence

When I was 15 years old I jumped up as I was getting on the school bus and I ripped the top of my head open. The pain was excruciating and as the blood ran down both sides of my face and dropped on my white t shirt, I acted like it didn’t hurt. I remember gritting my teeth when people gasped and asked if I was ok and I said “no, I’m fine”. I ended up getting 13 stitches across the top of my head.

At 15, I didn’t have the confidence to have the full range of emotions to show hurt. Sadly, by the time I was 25 and working at IBM, I still didn’t have the confidence to show the full range of emotions. Low self esteem showed itself in so many of my day-to-day interactions. Because I could not be my authentic self, social situations felt exhausting. The need to please others was what I thought I needed to do so “they” would like me. I was a “nice” young man—always happy and smiling, never seemingly having a bad day or getting angry.

When you love who you are, you feel empowered and powerful to be whoever you are when you feel like it. When you don’t love yourself, you feel weak and victimized. How do I know this? This was me for a large part of my life

I now LOVE who I am because I KNOW who I am—the good, the bad, and the ugly. But what I DO know is that I AM kind. I AM thoughtful. I DO my best to encourage others. But I am FIRST and FOREMOST kind and thoughtful and encouraging to MYSELF. And THAT is the beginning of developing true authentic CONFIDENCE. TRUE AUTHENTIC CONFIDENCE is very quiet.